Landon Donovan is a jerk
A couple weeks ago, Tyler wrote a post entitled, “Landon Donovan is a wimp.”
Of course, he was probably right; but do we know for sure? I haven’t ever met him and, like any reasonable person, he hasn’t agreed to arm wrestle me.
What we can be sure of is that Landon Donovan is a jerk. Really, it’s the one thing about which supporters of the Mexican national team and I can agree.
When Landon married his D-list celebrity girlfriend, Bianca Kajlich, we were nice enough to shower them with gifts. OK, not “gifts,” plural—we actually showered them with “gift,” singular. But it was a hell of a gift. Along with that gift, we sent a nice little card that included my mailing address.
That was back in December.
According to every etiquette guru (believe me, I checked), a thank-you card should be sent within six to eight weeks after the wedding, at the latest. To date, we haven’t received a thing.
This isn’t just a slight to me or the generous readers who donated to the cause; it’s a slap in the face of decency.
I’d like to believe that Landon has been really busy—playing in the Gold Cup, losing the Galaxy captaincy to a gimpy Englishman and embarrassing himself in general. But even if that’s true, it seems like Bianca could have taken a day off from being the understudy to an extra in some dinner theater atrocity.
For shame, Landon. For shame.
17 comments
Agreed… What’s his cell… I’ll give him a shout.
Where did that picture come from? It makes me think “Landon Donovan is a gay porn star”.
Cry me a river already, you’re on here crying and squealing , because LANDO hasn’t had the time to return your “Thank-You” Card…? LOL…
Ohh man, i guess anyone can make it as a writer now a days huh……
Dude, get a real job…!
Ohh man, i guess anyone can make it as a writer now a days huh…..
Judging by that excerpt, I’d say the answer is a resounding no.
I’d say that you should develop a nose for sarcasm, but seeing as it is so far up Landon’s ass, that might be an impossible task.
Good luck with all that.
You mean you weren’t serious…?
Like i said,..Dude, Get a “real job”…
I thought they had a year to send the Thank You. I know it took me a year to get ours out.
My guess is Landon probably looked up the site and read a few of your posts about him. Not getting a thank you doesn’t surprise me at all.
Josh!!!! You got a troll!!! Way to go man, I believed in you, and it happened. Call me, k?
Anyway, Donovan … sigh … I don’t know what to make of him at all. I like that he played hard against Brazil, but he seemed slightly scared to try to much on his own. I wish he had a little more Dempsey in him.
But seriously, the no Thank you card thing is sort of BS.
–WKW
Ronny:
If you believe this is my “job” you have even less of a clue than your barely-coherent comments indicate—no small feat, mind you. Further, the idea that you believe this is a “job” makes me wonder what you would not consider a job; for instance, if you witnessed me mowing my lawn in a manner displeasing to you, would you tell me to get a real job?
As a matter of fact, I have many jobs, the latest of which is to imagine you struggling through the seventh grade for the fifth time. Granted, it’s not a well-paying job, but it’s easily my most satisfying.
Josh!!!! You got a troll!!! Way to go man, I believed in you, and it happened. Call me, k?
I think trolling is his job. He should get a real job.
As for you, Wolfrum, I’d like your impression on how the Brazilians took the win? Ambivalent?
Why did Lil’ Ronny write “Thank-You” with quotation marks? Josh didn’t capitalize it, so Ron-Ron certainly wasn’t quoting him. Was it to poke fun at Josh’s hyphen? The hyphen that common decency requires of two words forming one adjectival unit?
And why did he write “real job” in quotation marks the second time? Certainly he wasn’t quoting himself, or “Get a” would have been in quotation marks as well. Was he mocking himself?
Furthermore, what does it mean when a writer connects two words with a comma and two periods? I’ve been searching and searching my references, but I keep coming up empty. Is it, perhaps, a Roman-alphabet approximation of a Farsi em-dash?
There is much to leave us puzzled about Ronny. Perhaps the only thing we will know with any certainty is that Landon Donovan is a terrible writer. With a really crappy pseudonym.
I’d like your impression on how the Brazilians took the win? Ambivalent?
Oh yeah, nearly complete and total ambivalence. They are supposed to beat the U.S. More was made over the fact that Kaka and Ronaldinho have been reintegrated into the squad, the choice of keeper, and the lack of a star striker (Afonso??? Yikes)
There’s almost no respect for U.S. soccer here. The best I ever hear is that Brazilians will remember that the U.S. gave a 10-man Brazil side a good game in the WC held in the U.S.
–WKW
…in 1994.
It was clear to me how much has changed in thirteen years, watching that game. Did the US expect to beat Brazil? I would say no. However, you could tell from the outset that–unlike the bunker-in mentality of the 94 game–the US team expected to compete with the Brazilians, and did not back down or run scared.
>>Perhaps the only thing we will know with any certainty is that Landon Donovan is a terrible writer. With a really crappy pseudonym.
Okay — I meant to add “Wouldn’t surprise me”
umm okay so i’ve met Donovan and hes a sweet guy hes nice so stop talking shit about him
I am so sick of Landycakes using Pseudonyms and then telling us how great he really is. I do realize that now that the MLS season is completed he does have more time to keep up his image as the Honda Player of the Year, but seriously we were done bashing on him for a while. Maybe now that the season is over he will have time to write the thank you note for the damn tenderizer. I am sure that LD can’t wait to pad his stats against the quality qualifier opponent that will be Barbados. I know that it is hard, but try not to be such a tool.
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