Category — The Real World Sucks

Back after the new year.

In the meantime, I encourage you to sweep the clouds away.

• I use a category called “The Real World Sucks” when an Iranian-born German international refuses to play in Israel. [Deutshe Welle]
• The UEFA Cup draw. [soccerword]
• In addition to possessing a penchant for diving, Robbie Savage is also a terrorist who is scared of flying. [Who Ate All The Pies]
• Sepp “Weak” Blatter is a crazy person who is, most likely, talking about something crazy. [New York Sun]

I don’t follow La Liga with any real passion (save for watching the clubs involved in later rounds of the Champion’s League) but the story of Antonio Puerta, the 22-year-old Sevilla defender who collapsed on the pitch last weekend after suffering a heart attack and died yesterday, strikes me as extraordinarily sad.

Many will say that it is important to keep things in perspective; that for every professional athlete who encounters an untimely death, so also do thousands around the world, many unknown even to their neighbors.

Of course they are correct; tragedy abounds. Deaths in Darfur, in Iraq, in Liverpool, in Hastings—these are no less tragic. But when Antonio Puerta and Malik Sealy and Cory Lidle, young men in the prime of life, living the dreams of millions, die, we all take note.

It’s an interesting dichotomy, isn’t it? Individually, it’s difficult to mourn the deaths of many. But collectively, we are adept at mourning an individual. It’s the reason the world stood still the day Diana died and why we rally around our respective tombs of unknown soldiers—singular personifications of a collective.

Further, the details behind the deaths of the many are hard to grasp. But when a famous person dies, the details of their life are immediately accessible and we project their stories onto our own fragile existences. Puerta leaves behind a girlfriend who is eight months pregnant. Today, as a result, many will hold close those dearest to them.

Whatever his exploits on the field of play, that may be Antonio Puerta’s most important legacy.

Famous scofflaw, coke fiend, and filthy World Cup cheater, Diego Maradona, can add “political visionary” and “social commentator” to his growing list of titles.

Carnie Wilson Redux announced on Venezuelan Overlord Hugo Chavez‘s Sunday talk show that “I hate everything that comes from the United States. I hate it with all my strength.”

Later, Maradona said that he believed so much in the cause of communism, that he totally would’ve given away the millions he made if he hadn’t wasted it on Ho-Hos, hookers, and blow.

“Survivors describe a crack, then screams.”

Yesterday’s events occurred only a few miles from our house. This morning, on the other side of town, I look out my office window and see four bridges to the west of I-35; as expected, they’re all doing double- or triple-duty. It’s going to be a long time before things are back to normal.

I understand that, in terms of the long view, this is hardly a blip on the radar screen. For me though, it hits so close to home because it is, quite literally, so close to home.

I’m thankful and relieved to report that all my family and friends are accounted for.

When David Beckham inked his deal with the L.A. Galaxy, cynics and critics all around the world claimed that he and the missus—Vicki-Something— were moving to Disneyland to increase their profile.

Well, it turns out that it is Jose Mourinho, not David Beckham, who will don the famous mouse ears. Chelsea have signed a deal with Disney to become “the official pro soccer club of Disney’s Wide World of Sports complex,” whatever the hell that means.

According to a Chelsea muckety-muck, “Chelsea is committed to assisting and promoting all levels of soccer in the United States, and youth soccer is a massive part of that.”

Right. It has nothing to do with Disney owning ESPN…

photo by Jas