I saw David Beckham at Office Depot tonight. I was fortunate enough to snap a picture with my cell phone:

• “War criminals, oligarchs, human rights abusers — oh, the joy of covering British football.” [Pitch Invasion]
• Like the U.S. Soccer Federation, MLS needs to open up [From College to the Pros]
• Claude Makelele says goodbye [Caught Offside]
• MLS embarking on self-destructive course? [USA Soccer Spot]
• I’m not precisely sure why you want to know this but are these the seven handsomest Arsenal players? [Arsenal Analysis]

Like the rest of the Twin Cities, the local papers were supposed to be very excited when David Beckham came to town last weekend for Copa Minnesota. However, unlike the fans who attended the games, the papers probably weren’t all that thrilled. After all, it was a celebrity affair so they were forced to cover it but they don’t actually have a real, live soccer writer on staff.

Indeed, the headline writers at the Minneapolis Star Tribune didn’t work too hard when they employed an age-old American headline writers’ trick—the one they use when titling an article about soccer. You know what I’m talking about, right? It’s a function of the headline writer not knowing anything about the game and his insatiable love of wordplay. In this case, the article was titled “Beckham not there just for kicks.”

“Just for kicks” is one of three phrases that U.S. headline writers love to use on soccer articles. Here are all three:

• “Get a kick [out of something]“
• “Just for kicks”
• “Have/having a ball”

Actually, that last one is used for articles about soccer, youth sports and wacky or heartstring-pulling sports stories, like a 90-year-old who plays croquet with her 94-year-old husband, a blind golfer or a squirrel who loves to play billiards in exchange for nuts.

The worst part about these phrases is how evocative they are—not of soccer, mind you, but of something so whimsical that it deserves no real attention. And that’s precisely how non-soccer people will read those headlines: “Oh, cute! A soccer game! They use their feet. He-he-he-he.”

And that’s really too bad.

Photo by george_morgan

U.S. Soccer has a problem.

Miss the first one? It’s here.

The Current Conditions

Every time the U.S. Men’s National Team plays, I have a checklist.

If the game is announced far enough in advance, I check my calendar and remove or reschedule any events that conflict with my being able to watch the game. If the squad is playing abroad and the match will occur during the hours that I work, I take the day off of work.

I do all of that just so I can watch the game live on television.

There are two reasons I want to see the game as it happens. First, I’m a fanatic; I love that team with all my heart and I can’t imagine watching a “DVR’d” version of the game and still feeling loyal. Second, I want as much time as possible to compose a post about the game for the following day.

The Perfect Storm

Those two things aren’t as unrelated as they seem at first glance. From U.S. Soccer’s perspective, they comprise a perfect storm. The recipe is simple: take one fanatic, add a dash of eagerness to report the game and the result is almost instant, free marketing.

As I said in the first post of this series, bloggers are in a great position to reach people who are otherwise ambivalent about soccer. So, if U.S. Soccer is serious about spreading their message, they should allow bloggers access to the facilities, matches, and players so they can provide better, in-depth coverage to their audience.

Traditional soccer reporters will always perform their duties in a traditional (and extraordinarily valuable) way and, while the world of soccer journalism is a little different from the other major American sports in terms of chumminess, they simply aren’t going to take on the role of overt cheerleaders.

Because bloggers are not constrained by traditional media ethos, they will see and report the game from a different perspective and, more importantly, reach a different audience. While a reporter writing in Sports Illustrated or on Soccernet will reach the devoted fan, the blogger will perform dual outreach roles, writing for both the devoted fans and the ambivalent observers who make up that all-important, spongy market segment that wants to love soccer but hasn’t been given a reason.

How-To

It’s easy for me to spout off about credentialing bloggers because I don’t have to deal with the logistical nightmare. So, how should U.S. Soccer begin? With a pilot program. The Federation should invite two or three bloggers to one game (on the blogger’s dime), give them some reasonable ground rules and see how it goes.

The worst thing that could happen is that the bloggers write a standard match report. If that’s the case, U.S. Soccer isn’t out any money and there are three more insightful columns about the game. The best thing that could happen is that the bloggers do a bang-up job, take some great “insider” pictures or video, and ask insightful questions that attract massive attention on the blogosphere.

In reality, the result will be somewhere in the middle, where everyone wins.

Addendum: Too Much?

If the Federation isn’t willing to give bloggers that kind of access, here are some baby steps they can take:

• Allow bloggers to sit in on media conference calls. (Put us on mute, if you must)
• Distribute some Creative Commons-licensed photos of the teams/training sessions/games for bloggers so they don’t have to steal them
• Put bloggers on the press release distribution list
• Give bloggers a media kit and access to the media section of ussoccer.com

Photo by Eleventh Earl of Mar

“Holy crap!” and all that.

As I alluded to earlier, ThroughBall has been nominated by some sweet and/or misguided soul for consideration as the Best U.S. Soccer Blog of 2007. The best part about the nomination? That I learned about it by reading it on another nominee’s blog.

I can’t begin to describe how amused I am by the jokester who nominated ThroughBall.com. To to that wacky someone, I say, “good one!”

On the off-chance that my humble broom closet on the internet was submitted for consideration with sincerity, I bid the submitter a fond “thank you.”

The competition is ridiculously good, by the way, and includes a lot of my favorites, like D (sorry, pal, one link is enough), Bruce, Ives, Goff, TIAS and the best time-waster of all, Hudsonia.

The list also (suspiciously) includes three ussoccer.com blogs: the MNT Blog, the vacationing WNT blog and U.S. Soccer Global.

Now, listen, I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life but I sure would love it if you would vote for ThroughBall.com—that is, if you can tear yourself away for a moment. In fact, go ahead and do it now; I’ll be here when you get back.

No, seriously, I’ll wait. Go!

…

Back? Very good, then.

A commenter on DCenters noted that there are no real controls (I presume he means IP logging or cookie-setting) that would stop a person from voting multiple times but, c’mon people, this isn’t Chicago politics, you know? Keep it real and vote once. Even if I don’t win, I’ll know that, at least in someone’s heart, I’m in the top ten of literally tens of U.S. soccer blogs. For that, I am eternally thankful.

Now, commence with the praise shower.

Nice to have you along.

I’d offer you some iced tea but I’m afraid we’re fresh out. For goodness’ sake, you can’t pop in on a person like this and expect him to be prepared for a party.

If you’d like, you’re welcome to try on my collection of DaMarcus Beasley jerseys and the Sam’s Army hat. If you really want to class it up, I think we have some some Kraft Singles, saltine crackers, and a box of Cabernet in the fridge.

As long as you’re here, you might as well set a spell (subscribe, if you’d like). And feel free to poke around but be gentle; some of the stuff around here is mighty fragile. I recommend:

• How U.S. Soccer can use the blogosphere to increase brand awareness (Part I: Sharing Video)
• U.S. 2-1 Canada: a review in letters
• U.S. 1-0 Guatemala; I’ll write a real match report someday
• The entire “From the New York Times archives” series

For the rest of you chuckleheads who are already hooked, I’ll explain this whole thing later. No, I haven’t won anything and no, I don’t deserve to win anything. Can’t you people just let me have one moment’s peace?